Pirates of the Caribbean : The Shameless Parody
by Ms E Sparrow
Summary: Arrrrg me mateys! Jack Sparrow intends on rewriting history as His Story, if ye be willin ter giggle, this is the story for you, especially if you like stupid puns and laugh at anything, really!


Pirates of the Caribbean : The Dark Stone  
  
Chapter 1  
  
"And really bad eggs! Drink up me hearties yoho!" Captain Jack Sparrow spun the wheel so hard at the end of the first film, this film (story) tells you what happened next! Annamarie, Gibbs, Cotton and company, were all flung from Port to Starboard, while Jack was hanging onto the wheel for dear life. The pretty boat, or ship should we say, nearly decided to flip itself over 90 degree's before it actually crashed back into the waves upright.  
  
"That was a close one," Jack muttered.  
  
"Arr, not willin' ter sail! Not willin' ter sail!" crowed Cotton's parrot.  
  
"No guessing what that means, eh?" Jack muttered, scowling at the exotic bird.  
  
"So, where exactly are we heading to before we die on the Black Pearl?!" Gibbs seethed through clenched teeth.  
  
"Back to Port Royal, thought I'd pick up something I've forgotten!" Smiled Jack. They were indeed back to Port Royal, but why?  
  
The boat glided easily through the water, not leaving the terrible black cloud behind them, the sails good as new...seems when the curse was lifted, the boat magically got a new make over courtesy of the Art Department who worked on the first version of the boat...but lets call it Movie Magic Dust for now. She, the Black Pearl, was back to it's original condition before the curse was put upon it.  
  
Slowly pulling up to a dock in Port Royal, Gibbs jumped off and tied the boat up.  
  
Jack Sparrow, took a little hop, skip and jump down the board and onto the dock, picking up a spare purse full of shillings without anyone looking. A soldier of the Kings navy brushed arrogantly past Jacks left shoulder.  
  
"Watch where you're going, mate....oh, it's you. Gillete, the best shave a man could get?!" Jack said surprisingly.  
  
"And in surprise yet again, no one has ever used that damn pun on me before, shame on you!"  
  
"I'll clap your hands in irons boy, if you keep talking cack!" Jack scowled at him, and walked off abruptly. Making his way up to the Govenor's house, after asking many people the directions, he finally made it and knocked on the large oak door. A Servant girl opened the door, and told him to stay where he was after asking for Will Turner. After a couple of minutes, Will appeared.  
  
"Jack?!" He gasped.  
  
"The one and only, here in the flesh, no time for chit chat, I have a proposition...it's just a matter of leverage!" he winked.  
  
"You've only been gone 22 minutes, why back so soon?" said Will, leading him to a large living room, motioning him to sit down.  
  
"I couldn't have gone boy without you, you're one of us..." said Jack, playing idly with a silver tray, inspecting it and wondering how many shillings he could get for it!  
  
"Don't even try it Jack..." Will noticed. "Besides, I can't go now, I'm here with Elizabeth, we want to spend time together..." Jack kept playing with shiney objects around him.  
  
"Not just you," he said, carrying on playing with random bits, "she can come too, just as long as she behaves herself, she's a bit..." and made some gestures to show how prim and proper she is.  
  
"At least she has some manners..." Will retaliated, as Jack began to....yanno....(scratch!) a certain bodily part.  
  
"Well, make your mind up boy, and come see us, we're tied up at the dock, staying over night, then leaving at 8.24am," said Jack, pointing to his brand new digital watch. "It was a freebie from Disney, pretty neat, now I don't have to get blind by staring at the sun!"  
  
"Why do I get the feeling this will be a cheesy parody of the Curse of the Black Pearl...?!" Will said, raising an eyebrow. Jack grinned.  
  
"Just you wait, boy, just you wait....with really bad eggs!" Then some music started up, obviously to do with the opening credits to this cheesey parody, while the lead roles names flipped across the screen, knocking Orlando Bloom unconscious, while Johnny Depps name insisted on challenging Johnny, clashing against his sword in an epic sword battle...minus one sword because the words actually formed into a swo...oh, you get it! End of chapter one! 


End file.
